*Originally published in The Point Magazine, a Biola University publication
Growing Up Multiracial in a Racialized Society
Pictured: Becca Jackson and Olivia Tan
You’re exotic. You don’t look Asian. You can’t be Latina, you don’t speak Spanish. You’re light skinned; you’re not one of us. You are not authentic enough. What are you?
Check one: Spanish, Hispanic or Latino. Native American, Alaska Native. Asian. Black, African-American, African. Native Hawaiian, Pacific Islander. White or Caucasian.
2000 was the first year the United States Census gave the option to check all applicable boxes, meaning that every year leading up to the 21st century, multiracial individuals were forced to choose one race over another. Today, individuals are still told to make the choice in social circles, family gatherings, classrooms, professional settings and on the street.
Where do multiracial individuals find their place in a racially charged society? Individuals of multiethnic backgrounds spend years trying to come to terms with their light skin that should be dark, their dark skin that is supposed to be light, their freckles that do not match their race and their chocolate-colored eyes that seem too normal. They wrestle with the famous question, “What are you?” when the real question—and more respectful one—is, “Who are you?”
Multiracial individuals have a unique perspective on racial discrimination because they are each distinctly discriminated against. When society is bent on fitting people into racial categories, multiethnic people confuse the fixed system. The study, “The Social Construction of Race: Biracial Identity and Vulnerability to Stereotypes,” found that multiracial individuals face unique discrimination because of this inability to be placed into preexisting racial categories.
“Because multiracial individuals cannot be easily classified in either the monoracial majority or monoracial minority groups, they face rejection from both majority groups and minority groups in society,” said researcher Margaret Shih.
Freshman communication sciences and disorders major Mathias Davis experiences this discrimination as he navigates between being both black and Mexican.
“Not having the foundation of knowing who I am made me very insecure. My friends would tell me I’m not black so I shouldn't act like I am,” Davis said. “Being multiethnic means being rejected by both sides. I’ve been rejected by the Mexican community and the black community. ‘You’re not really one of us. You’re a lightskin. You don’t know what it’s like.’ That’s something that I’ve gotten a lot and still do get.”
Other students share Davis’ experience. Sophomore cinema and media arts major Holly Chang grew up with a Chinese father and half-Mexican, half-white mother. She identifies as fully Chinese and Mexican and desires to belong in both cultures.
“It’s easy to assume that we can just identify with one thing, but that’s not the case for multiethnic people. It’s really hard to have a sense of belonging because we don’t belong to just one thing. We’re kind of being pulled all over the place and we don’t really know what that means,” Chang said.
As multiracial individuals attempt to navigate through a racially charged society, this lack of belonging often negatively impacts self-esteem. Due to the presence of racial categories, these individuals frequently feel the need to choose one race over another, often resulting in psychological conflict.
“I had such a bad identity crisis junior year [of high school] because I felt neglected by Asian culture,” said Becca Jackson, freshman cinema and media arts major, whose Japanese and white background somehow makes her less ‘authentically Asian.’ “One of my friends who is white was learning Japanese and kept saying things like, ‘You don’t watch anime and you don’t speak your language, you’re not even Japanese.’ It was discouraging. I just wished I was one or the other. I wished I was full Japanese or full white.”
It did not make sense to Jackson why people would tell her she was not Asian simply because she did not speak Japanese—as if linguistic ability determines ethnicity. Many multiethnic people face this confusion as they seek to figure out who they are when their own racial groups reject them.
Like Jackson, senior graphic design major Kayleigh Rodgers felt neglected by her Asian culture as she grew up. Rodgers found it difficult to fit in with her Filipino friends, seeing as her father’s white heritage apparently invalidated her mother’s Filipino heritage.
Rodgers explained that she would chameleon between both her white and Filipino social circles, playing into what others expected of her though she was not sure what she expected of herself. But, how long can an individual wear a malleable mask?
“I just couldn’t be a chameleon forever. It was exhausting,” Rodgers said.
Exhaustion from chameleoning between groups heightens when the multiracial individual is faced with constantly explaining their racially ambiguous background. While several students commented that they find it fun to talk about their mixed racial background with friends and strangers, others recalled instances when the comments came across as ignorant and insensitive.
“Sometimes it can be offensive when someone asks, ‘What are you?’ I remember this one lady was like, ‘Wow, you’re so exotic!’ And I was just like, ‘I’m not a smoothie! I’m just a person,’” Jackson said.
The term “exotic” is not a compliment. Instead, it plays into the racial ambiguity often attached to mixed identities and attributes to further self-doubt and frustration.
Freshman cinema and media arts major Olivia Tan explained that stereotypical comments about her heritage played a huge role in the insensitivity of peers and strangers. She described that while growing up with a Chinese father from the Philippines and a Caucasian mother from Belgium has influenced her positively, she has experienced some measure of discrimination.
“Sometimes people make stereotypical comments about Asians because they are almost comfortable making them in front of me since I’m half-white,” Tan said.
Multiracial individuals are often exposed to comments that are ‘not meant for their ears’ simply because their physical appearance does not match the stereotype.
At this point, the situation seems dreary: rejection from their own cultures, the pressure of choosing sides, the ignorance of peers. So then, how, in a world where racial categories are cemented, can a multiracial individual come to terms with their unique cultural identity?
One conclusion seems to be acceptance of mixed culture. If the racialized society can not fit those who are multiethnic in their exclusive boxes, then let them create their own unified culture of mixed heritage.
Tan has seen her identity as hapa–a term for an individual of Asian and white background–as positive because she has been able to connect with other racially mixed people.
“Recently, the hapa culture has been really awesome for me because meeting other people who are hapa wasn’t something I had growing up,” Tan said.
The beauty of blended culture flourishes among these individuals and their settings when they get to know others of mixed backgrounds.
“There are a lot of Asians in Biola and around the area. And a lot of mixed students here too, compared to Chicago. When I first came out here, I thought, ‘Woah this is crazy,’ I’m not used to this many people that look like me or look like my mom,” said Sam Vance, sophomore music major, who identifies as Korean and Caucasian.
Embracing mixed identity does not ignore the pain from rejection or the hurt from stereotyping, but it builds community between those who are told they are not authentic enough and embraces the distinctive aspects of mixed culture such as the many holidays, traditions and food. For example, senior accounting major Austin Bishop saw his multiethnic identity as Japanese and white as positive because he loved being able to eat Japanese food growing up. Chang similarly grew up with three different Christmases, enjoying turkey and ham, enchiladas and Spanish rice and beef chow fun every year.
The unique aspects of the multiracial community are not only to be celebrated, but validated by the biblical truth that everyone is made uniquely and purposefully.
“When I was saved my sophomore year [of high school], I realized that my identity is first in Christ and then through my ethnicity,” Davis said.
He explains that his foundation in Christ allows him to see his true value, regardless of how others perceive his racial background. Now, Davis can confidently say that he is proud of who he is.
“I used to hate my curly hair because it didn’t do what I wanted. I didn’t like my brown eyes because they were normal. But eventually I came to love these features about myself. I love the color of my skin and how golden it is,” Davis said.
Race is a social construct, as many multiethnic individuals have come to understand, but the ability to check off so many boxes is also an avenue for empathy.
“It has taught me how to embrace other people,” Chang said. “Not to say that people who are monoracial can’t embrace others, but there’s this type of mentality that people who are multiethnic have because we are so used to being tugged at and thrown into different situations. My multiracial experience has taught me to love people better.”
After living a life yearning for appreciation, show that appreciation to others. A multiracial identity is not all there is to a person but learning to love and appreciate different cultures has benefits innumerable.
“We are the people that can bridge between cultures because we don’t belong to just one,” Chang said.